Just Help Me
by CatoradeandRobbie
Summary: It's a fight to the end. Logan's home, but where's Katie? Kendall still can't get over his love for Logan, even though said boy can hardly remember anything from his old life. KOGAN! *Please read Just Hold Me first or otherwise this will make zero sense*
1. Just Trying To Understand

**HERE IT IS! YEAH! Thanks to all those who reviewed for my last story. And get excited!**

**Does Logan get his memory back, fully? Will he break out of his fear?**

**Is Katie found?**

**Can Kendall convince Logan that they're still in love?**

**What happens to Hawk?**

**Disclaimer- I do not own BTR, not the characters, but I do own what's happening to them.**

**Warning! Rated T for abuse, rape, gay relationships, and violence!**

"_He's…" He said weakly. Our eyes went buggy in shock. Our jaws dropped to the floor. His whole body writhed in fear_

"_H-h-hawk." A bloodcurdling scream followed his words, and then he blacked out._

_ "Oh. My. God."_

_ I don't think it even occurred to Kendall, as he said that, that Logan was remembering._

_ The color drained from his face, and he collapsed to the floor with a sickening thud._

_ And the whole time, every single person in that room was thinking, __**Oh. My. God.**_

_(Kendall's POV)_

I gathered myself up off the floor. "This was _him_? You have to be freaking kidding me!" He screamed, throwing his fists in the air, and thrashing around.

"Kendall stop, please!" James tried to calm me down.

"I'm going to kick his—"

"STOP! I'm trying to wrap my head around this, too. It's not fair to any of us! This is—all of us—it's our problem!" Carlos blew up in my face. I guess I don't blame him.

The officer just walked off, mumbling something like, "This is going to take a while…" I rolled my eyes as she sat in the corner, and reviewed her notes.

"Fine, but I seriously…"

Logan grabbed my hand. His eyes. They were talking to me. _He did terrible things to me, Logan. I'm not going to speak because I'm scared._ They said.

"I get it, Loges, I…" I just buried my face in my hands and ran out of the room, sobbing to no end.

**Short, but I'm slowly getting started. PS, if you haven't read Just Hold Me, you're not going to get this.**


	2. Just No More Games

**So that was quite a break! I feel so bad that I have to tell you that, after this week, I'll be gone at camp without internet for a whole eight days… so, no updates **

**I will post as many chapters as possible before then, so get excited for a lot of double updates!**

**Thanks for reviewing! This story and the last!**

**Disclaimer- I do not own BTR, not the characters, but I do own what's happening to them.**

**Warning! Rated T for abuse, rape, gay relationships, and violence!**

_(Katie's POV)_

He's raped me at least ten times since Logan left—I've lost count.

When Logan was alive, he comforted me. The pain was less painful, if that makes any sense at all. But he was dead, and I didn't know otherwise.

As I sat there, waiting for my time, I thought about them. All of them. All the friends I'd left behind.

All the people that still loved me. I knew there were people out there somewhere who still wanted me to come back home, even if it felt like there was nothing left to be strong for.

I thought about the concerts, the tours, my 'old life'. I thought of James, Logan, Carlos and Kendall—my big brothers, no matter biological or not. No matter dead or not.

And Mom. What would she ever do without me? I mean, I didn't need her ever since I learned to win at Five Card Stud, but she needed me. She _needed_ me.

When I started to think that way, I felt depressed—suicidal—dead, almost.

The door creaked open. _I'm ready to die. I'm ready. I want out. I'm through with this. I'm so tired of playing these games with my life. I'm just ready to die,_ I thought. I didn't know why I was thinking that, but it was true. I was done walking through this minefield; risking every move I made with my life.

With one roll of the dice, I could be dead. He had that ability to kill me. He definitely had the power to kill me. There was no doubt that he wanted to.

"Hello, my Katie." He said, as his head tipped to one side with fascination. "Would you be a dear and go make me some coffee? I'd like to have a little… _chat_." The word played upon his lips like a laugh.

My eyes widened, and I sat at attention, but completely frozen.

"_Do_ as I say!" He screamed, ready to pull the gun.

"Kill me," I whispered, but it was very audible. He needed to hear me. "Kill me now." I pursed my lips.

A sickening grin formed on his face, and in his eyes.

**Finally. I sort of wrote that one on the plane! Ugh, that was a long trip away from y'all and an even longer one coming up. I plan to write during that time, too, so this will all be okay! I'm actually really happy with that one, and I hope you are, too. Please review. Criticisms are also appreciated!**


	3. Just Aftermath

**Here's another chapter. A denser one, I hope. Here you are, loyal readers, and new ones alike!**

**Disclaimer- I do not own BTR, not the characters, but I do own what's happening to them.**

**Warning! Rated T for abuse, rape, gay relationships, and violence!**

_(James's POV)_

My phone buzzed in my pocket. "Kendall? Dude, where've you been? Logan's never gonna be the same! You gotta make him…" And that was around the time when I realized that I wasn't talking to Kendall.

"James. Diamond." The voice breathed.

"Speaking."

"How far are you willing to go for your best friend?"

"Hawk." I knew the voice. I knew everything.

He snickered. "You catch on fast, Diamond. Now listen."

"What? What this time?"

"Katie's dead."

Air choked my lungs. Breath didn't come. Tears formed in my eyes. "Y-You wouldn't." I paced the hospital tiled floors.

"You saw what I did to Logan. You know how powerful I am."

"But… you didn't kill him… you can't _kill_ her!" I argued, knowing all too well that he could.

"Oh, but I _did_ James." At first my heart sank into my stomach. But, then the realization hit me.

There was a pause, and just heavy breathing. I crumbled inside. My heart shattered into a million pieces. For once, I wasn't even thinking about my hair, or my undeniably great abs. I was thinking about Kendall's heart. And Logan's. All of us. Life wasn't ever going to be the same.

"What do you want from me?" I sobbed.

"You killed Katie, James." I just _knew_ he smiled as he took his second pause. I shivered at the thought of his happiness.

"No… No… I didn't kill her… I didn't kill her!" I screamed, completely on edge.

"Oh, but you did, James. And now you live with this."

"I didn't kill her…" I exhaled, the words tumbling out of my mouth in a confused mess. "There's no way on earth."

I didn't know what I did. Heck, I didn't even know it was Hawk until a few days earlier. There's no way I did anything to hurt her. And now she's… she's…

"Are you sure? Do you think I take people and set them free? Do you think I have my fun and let them go?"

"I… Killed… Her…" I hung my head in shame.

"Yes. Yes, James. You did." He laughed.

Nothing. No breathing. No talking. Nothing.

And then the line cut dead.

My stomach churned. This is life now. This band, this Hollywood life… it's over. There's nothing I can do but pick up the broken pieces.

Hopefully we'll be alright. Somewhere in the aftermath. Things are supposed to get worse before they get better, or something like that.

**There you are. That was really… Well I don't even know exactly what it was. So, you can tell me! Review please! And I'll post ASAP!**


	4. Just No More Tears

**Um… Here's yet another chapter for Independence day! **

**Disclaimer- I do not own BTR, not the characters, but I do own what's happening to them.**

**Warning! Rated T for abuse, rape, gay relationships, and violence!**

_(Kendall's POV)_

There's a fine line between dating someone, and loving them. While you may argue that I wasn't dating Logan, you can't deny that I love him. I will _always_ love him.

James was running to me. "He. Killed. Her." He said, but I swear he'd mouthed it. It all seemed to happen in slow motion, but, at the same time, it was all happening to way to fast.

My world froze. "What do you mean? Who killed who, James? James?"

"Hawk… Katie... Kendall, I'm… It's all my fault!" He screamed.

I stopped breathing for a moment. Tears swelled in my eyes. Without Logan, without Katie… I don't exist. One of them was lost in the mind, and the other… Katie's just gone forever.

I dried my eyes and stood up. "It's not your fault, James. It's this town. We swore we wouldn't let it change us. Look at us now!"

I almost committed suicide. Carlos almost died. James was insisting that Katie's death was his fault. Logan had lost himself. Katie was gone. We all swore we wouldn't let this town change us. Look at what we've done. Look at this mess we've made. Look at how lost we all are!

"But… I… Hawk said…" James sobbed, still holding his phone.

"He's psyching you out. Don't think like that. You didn't kill her." I hung my head in anger.

James put a hand on my shoulder. "Kendall, you don't know what you meant to her." He said at last, after a long three minutes of staring at me and trying to figure out if what I said was the truth. "In her eyes, you're perfect."

That was probably the best thing James ever said to me. Before that, it was mostly comments about my hockey skills. I guess I underestimated this friendship.

I sat on the ground, just frustrated at the world. "I wish I could've just told her goodbye."

"I think everyone wishes that right now. The world needs more little girls like her."

"I'm not going to break this time." I said matter-of-factly. I caught his sideways glance. "I've broken way too many already, and there are just… way too many pieces left behind."

"It's not bad to cry. I won't think less of you if you cry."

"It's just gets harder and harder to make the tears come. It's like they aren't worth it anymore."

"Really?"

"I've cried a lot. When my dad died. Losing the hockey championships—several times. Carlos and Logan… And now, I just can't cry anymore. It's time to step up and… get over this."

"You don't always have to get over things. My mom… she said it's not always bad to dwell on these type of things." Logan would've cringed at his double negative, so I did.

"I just… I can't anymore."

"Well, then. Don't." James brushed his pants of and offered me a hand for balance. I stood up.

"I love you guys. All you guys."

"Logan knows that, you know. He's more attentive than you'd think."

"Really?" Maybe a reason to get excited?

James's green eyes stared straight into my soul. "Really." And I didn't think I could smile yet, but I did.

And I'm starting to think that Katie would've wanted me to.

**Yay! Done with another! I might post another one! Love this story! And review!**


	5. Just Remembering

**O.M.G. I haven't been on here in AGES. I feel so bad about leaving you guys hanging for more than two weeks. I'm so sorry! But I didn't abandon this. **

**Disclaimer- I do not own BTR, not the characters, but I do own what's happening to them.**

**Warning! Rated T for abuse, rape, gay relationships, and violence!**

_(Logan's POV)_

It was time. Time to talk. I had to get it out. I remembered them. All of them.

I just never said anything. The fear crippled me. Every time I tried to speak, I saw _him_ and heard _him_ and felt _him_. All over me. I felt so… dirty. I tried to convince myself a thousand times over that it was just a nightmare.

But then I thought of Katie, and every single horrific image flashed through my mind like an old picture show.

And every time Kendall touched me, there were crippling flashbacks. His face reminded me of the girl that I'd left behind. She thought I was dead. I did this to her. _I did this to her_. Who knows what's happened to her since.

I took a deep breath. Hawk couldn't find me know.

"K-kendall…" I squeaked, barely opening my eyes.

I swear my blonde with the eyebrows jumped a foot in the air. His face lit up. "Logan… you-you REMEMBER!" He screamed, startling Carlos and James to consciousness.

I nodded, but then frowned. "Honestly, I wish I could just forget this whole thing. This whole past month." Kendall's eyes filled with tears.

"I-I thought… but we… we were…"

I rolled my eyes at my stupidity. Why did it have to come out that way?

I grabbed his trembling hand. "Let's not get into this again. You know what I'm going to say. It came out exactly wrong. I _want_ to remember you and me. I want to remember what life was like before all this _and_ our relationship. I want to forget what he did to me." By then, tears were rolling down my cheeks faster than Kendall's.

"Logan, you don't have to…" He pleaded, but I was already on a roll.

"He raped me, Kendall. He did things to me that you wouldn't have ever imagined. And every time I close my eyes, I'm thinking about how his hands were all over me. I'm constantly fearing that he'll come back."

Kendall wrapped me in a tight hug, and I tried my best to quell the wall of fiery memories. "He's never gonna get you again. I promise. And I know that I'm not the best at keeping promises, but I will never let anyone hurt you."

"You must really love me. I really love you." I smiled.

James patted me on the shoulder. The somber look in his eyes freaked me out. "Katie's dead."

"I hate this."

Kendall glared at James. James shook his head and folded his arms across his chest. Carlos shuddered. I closed my eyes and went back to not talking.

**Ugh…. Terrible-ness. I hate that one. Too predictable. But, at least I got it up there and the next one will be **_**way**_** better. Just review? Please?**


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